Tan’s in Việt Nam!

There is something about District 1 of Saigon that makes it truly different from any other place in Vietnam. It is the heart of the city, and this heart is decidedly more vibrant. Though motorbikes still dominate the roads, cars and SUVs are a distinct presence on the road. I haven’t seen more cars at one time since I’ve left the United States. The greater number of cars also means there is a greater number of “blue license plates.” Normal cars have white license plates. However, blue license plates supposedly mean a very high ranking government or military officer. Their rank is so high that police are not allowed to pull them over to seek a bribe. There are also rumors of a red license plate, meaning diplomatic immunity. However, I hear that these red license plates are also issued to very powerful businessmen. I’ve never seen one.

But Saigon’s glitz and glam is somehow manifested in the local people as well. Many people have dyed and/or stylized hair. It is common to see guys with earrings. Other people roll in motorbikes modified with glowing lights and/or bright rims. One cyclo driver once pulled out a very nice looking cell phone. Cyclo drivers, as well as xe om drivers, are viewed quite condescendingly, and their jobs yield unstable, usually low, income.

Somehow, that sort of materialistic and flamboyant attitude has transferred to me. A few weeks back, I declared that I lived a simple life. Two days ago I bought a fake Gucci belt. Today…

1. Sex Appeal

I was wondering around one of Saigon’s many marketplaces, and ran into a stall with hats. Now, hat stalls are very common, both here and in Hanoi, but what caught my eye was the presence of some Von Dutch caps. I thought that brand existed only in the States, but apparently Japan or Korea wears them as well. I randomly tried on a red and gold (USC colors) cap, and the seller, a young girl, told me I looked good. At this point, I somehow knew I was going to buy something.

She wanted 150,000 dong for the hat. I said I would take this hat and another Von Dutch hat for that same price. She laughed and asked me why I would want to buy two. I looked at her, smiled, and very playfully said, “Well, I’m single, and I’m going to find a girlfriend tonight.” She blushed and rather weakly said 160,000.

“C’mon, I gotta buy my girl coffee tonight. 150,000.” She agreed. I win! Before anyone starts calling me a pig for taking advantage of the young and impressionable, I would have to say that a normal cap costs only 20,000 or 30,000 dong or so. Now that I think about it, I question if I really did win.

2. Singing

At this same market, my friend Saku was looking at some silk scarves. While he was bargaining, I was chatting it up with one of the venders from the same stall. We just talked about where I’m from, what the local people my age wear, etc. etc. Out of nowhere, the lady asks, “Hey, you’re Vietnamese is good, but can you sing in Vietnamese?” I started singing a song called “Trong Com”, which is a fun folksong about love or something. I don’t really understand it, but I can sing it. One of the locals taught it to me on the way up to Ha Long Bay. Apparently everyone in the surrounding stalls knew that song because they all joined in the singing and clapping.

Afterward, she said, “Hey, that was fun? Want to do something more fun? Buy some of my stuff.” She shows me some nice silk stuff.

I replied, “Well, that would be fun, but it would be more fun if you lowered the price.” She laughed and lowered the price.

“Wow, that was fun. Let’s have more fun.”
“Hahaha, I can’t lower the price anymore.” But she did. 210,000 dong later, I walked away with a very nice silk blanket.

3. Dancing

In another part of this market (OK, so I dont’ get out much), a lady tries to pull me to her shirt stall. I didn’t want to buy anything, but for some reason she said, “Hey, you dance don’t you?” I didn’t really find it weird because I do like dancing and sometimes I unconsciously slip in a dance move to complement my already goofy demeanor. I admitted, “Yes.” Big mistake. She pulls me back to her stall and tells her son to turn up the music. I shrug and start dancing. They start cheering, attracting more and more people. I told everyone that I wouldn’t dance anymore unless someone danced too. Out of nowhere, they produce this 40-year-old woman with too much make-up. She definitely likes to dance.

We danced for perhaps two or three songs. I even threw in the Worm. I then walked away with a 50,000 dong Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt. It was originally 120,000.

Perhaps 10 stalls down, another woman recognizes me as the “Guy who Dances”, and gave me a HardRock Cafe: Saigon shirt. I gave her 20,000 dong.

4. Just read this one.

My friend Eric convinced me to go with him to help him translate what he wanted for a haircut. I was reading emails, so I didn’t really want to go. Next thing I knew, I got a haircut, a facial, and a back massage.

5. It’s not all Glitz and Glam

I was walking down Nguyen Hue street, and a man offered me a xe om (motorbike) ride. I said no. He then offered me a little girl who would do anything I want. “She’s only this [about 3.5 feet] tall.” I said no and started walking away quicker.

For all the things that make District 1 so fun…there are some things that aren’t. Apparently other districts in Saigon are more blatant about their child prostitution.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 8th, 2005 at 10:07 pm and is filed under Super Xanga. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.