Identity
October 16th, 2005 @ 2:13 amThe word, “rest” and the word “room” have two completely different meanings. If you put them together, you get a third completely different, but vaguely familiar, word: “restroom.” I believe it is the same with the words, “Vietnamese”, “American”, and “Vietnamese-American.”
For the longest time, I assumed that the Vietnamese-American experience was some sort of blend between the Vietnamese experience and the American experience. I assumed that every American with a Vietnamese heritage had a choice between two basic ingredients. And in this cookbook of life, they can choose to add whatever concentration of these two ingredients that they wanted. But funny things happen when you add ingredients together. Butter and sugar, no matter how you add it, simply does not remain butter and sugar. It becomes a cake.
In that way, the Vietnamese-American experience is somewhat familiar to the Vietnamese experience, and somewhat familiar to the American experience, but in no way can it ever be a simple average between the two. It is a new taste, a new sensation, completely different, but vaguely familiar. Just like “restroom.”
There are many times I am walking down a Hanoi street and a random person will ask if I am from China, from Korea, or (very seldomly) from Southern Vietnam. They are trying to define me with words that I choose not to associate myself with. That is called perception. How people define who I am is how they perceive me.
At the basic level, I define myself as Vietnamese-American. I choose to associate with neither Vietnamese nor American. That is called identity. How I define who I am is how I identify myself.
Identity is a choice. It has nothing to do with genetics, and it has nothing to do with blood. It has everything to do with what we choose to associate with. And while I identify as a Vietnamese-American, I realize in no way can a single term sum up who I am. For all of us, identity goes beyond words.
The Vietnamese-American identity is a relatively new identity, perhaps only two or three decades old. It makes sense that such an identity would be confusing, as there is little precedent to follow. Those who identify as Vietnamese-Americans are literally trailblazing a new experience. We are inventing a new kind of cake. I do not presume to know the perfect recipe for this cake. I do not know how this cake will taste. But my goodness, I am going to take this cake and take a bite.
What does it mean to have the Vietnamese-American experience? I do not have the answer. However, I have my answer. I have my cake. Perhaps one day a social scientist will come along, look at everyone’s cake, and deduce the universal recipe for the Vietnamese-American cake. Until then, I offer this:
To be Vietnamese-American is to be on an identity search. It is a lifelong search and a daily struggle against a forever evolving and dynamic phenomenon. It is a pursuit for that elusive peace within.
But how is that different from the Irish-American experience, and the African-English experience, and the Jewish experience? It is quite simple: My cake will taste different.
Let them eat cake.
-Marie Antoinette, in circumstances completely unrelated to the topic of this entry.
October 16th, 2005 at 12:34 pm
So glad you and I do not have to discuss this subject face to face. I now have two months to prepare for our debate in California
Looking at the last pic of this entry, I can relate to the owner’s feeling. Six youngters and one glass of beer (or is it water?). Come on guys, Viet Nam can not be that expensive
October 16th, 2005 at 1:34 pm
Ahhh, I just caught up on your last few months. I love your style of writing, it’s very elegant and inspiring to read.
Anyway, I’m surprised that you repeatedly classify yourself as Vietnamese-American. You aren’t some racial classification, you are yourself. In my opinion, there really isn’t an “American” culture; I say this as someone that should, supposedly, have experienced it as a white person here. America is the combination of many cultures, not the existence of one. It’s a blending of many cultures that makes ‘American’ culture so unique.
I have a problem expressing some things without actually speaking >_
October 16th, 2005 at 7:01 pm
http://
Hey Andrew, hope you’re having fun out there.
Everyone who has ever lived in America has experienced American culture. But I would argue that everyone will have a different reaction to this culture. I identify as Vietnamese-American, partially because that is how the so-called American society has identified me.
We’ve known each other for a long time now, and I know you aren’t a bigot, just as you know I am not a bigot. (hopefully…) But when I walk down a California street, I think it would be very hard to find someone who would say, “Hey, look at that American boy.” At best, I am Vietnamese, or Vietnamese-American. I can never be simply American. Only when I am outside the country do people say “Hey, you’re an American.”
I agree that at the very core, I am myself. I am Tan, not Vietnamese-American, or whatever. But understanding what Tan is all about is perhaps as difficult and complex as understanding what Andrew is all about. And so we use these qualifier words like “American” and “Vietnamese” to approximate exactly who Tan and Andrew are. And it is through these words that help people perceive us the way we want to be identified.
I would also argue that the way a white person experiences America is different from the way a person of Vietnamese heritage experiences America. We perceive things differently because we are different people for different reasons. But like you suggest, the fact that we can coexist together peacefully despite these different experiences is what makes America so great.
i think you express yourself wonderfully.
October 16th, 2005 at 11:18 pm
http://ayaitstina.com
i’m still stuck on the first picture. i definitely won’t survive in VN. hahaha. i can’t imagine taking a dump on that thing. sister says it’s always wet, too. so how do you know when you’re stepping on water vs piss? oh man!
oh, and is that a sensor for an automatic flusher that i see? or am i seeing things with my American eyes again?
sizzle sizzle to the rest. i always say i’m “Vietnamese”, but i can’t say i truly identify as Vietnamese alone since I don’t see eye-to-eye with many of my parents cultural beliefs. i’m definitely a mixture.
October 17th, 2005 at 9:13 am
http://www.xanga.com/mejuju
Another great post! lovin’ the pictures, too. looks like you got a pretty interesting mix of EAP cohorts with you this year.
October 17th, 2005 at 10:56 am
http://www.xanga.com/youdothetalking
wow.
is that really what your bathroom is like? And it’s nestled with the shower too?
you are truly brave my friend.
October 17th, 2005 at 11:49 am
http://
Actually, that is the bathroom at the airport in Taipei, during our flight from Los Angeles. Yes, the squatter is indeed motion sensored. It’s fun.
October 31st, 2005 at 8:47 pm
“I identify as Vietnamese-American, partially because that is how the so-called American society has identified me.”
Well put, M.
You have dotted the I and crossed the T
The same goes for the labeling term of “Việt Kiều.”