Perceptions
September 8th, 2005 @ 1:19 amDepending on the translation you watch, Jet Li’s character in the movie Hero is either from the Kingdom of Zhao, or the Kingdom of Yueh. According to Gerard, the Zhao are an ethnic minority now in northern Vietnam. The “Yueh” is an ancient Chinese term for “Viet,” which means “barbarian.” According to the Chinese, anyone who wasn’t a bonafide Han Chinese person was a barbarian. Therefore, it is not a complete stretch of the imagination to believe that Jet Li’s character in Hero may actually be Vietnamese!
In Kendo, the Japanese sword fighting technique, the very best masters can tell what move their opponent will do by the slightest shift in their weight and/or twitch of their sword. Therefore, two masters can simply be standing there, minutely shifting and twitching their sword…having an elaborate fight all based on these subtle movements. To the untrained observer, it seems as if they were simply standing still, staring at each other. Therefore, it is again not that farfetched in Hero to see Jet Li and his opponent “having a battle fought within their mind.”
And while this is all very interesting, I think what it really boils down to is perception. The Chinese perceive us to be barbarians. We perceives ourselves to be civilized. Two Kendo masters perceive an elaborate sword fight. We perceive two unmoving masters.
Even in Vietnam, my day to day interaction is all based on perception. I see a product I like, I name a price I perceive to be fair. The vender names a higher price he thinks I would be willing to pay. We meet somewhere in the middle. What is the actual price of the product? Whatever the vender and seller perceive it to be at that particular moment in time.
It is the same with my history books. Vietnam: A Long History is a Communist book. Understanding Vietnam is not. I have copies of both, and I read both. They are essentially two different versions of the same story. Who is right? I have a strong tendency to say the Communist book is wrong, but that is because I am conditioned to think that way by my familial and societal environment. What makes me right and the author, an inhabitant of Vietnam, wrong? What if no one is right?
Tonight, my friends mentioned the Communist re-education camps for those who did not adhere to Communism. According to my friends, they were basically harsh prison camps that tortured those who did not conform. Many died in them. No one knows exactly how many re-education camps there were. Supposedly, the one in Hanoi is now a Hotel.
You do not find any mention of this topic on the Communist history book. You find vague references to the re-education camps in Understanding Vietnam. No one here in Vietnam would talk about such things. In fact, many of today’s youth have absolutely no clue about it. The overseas Vietnamese community probably knows about it, but it was so traumatic that no one talks about it. So you have 3 sources: A communist history book that that won’t acknowledge its existence, a non-communist book that doesn’t know too much about it to say anything of substance, and a community that experienced it but won’t talk about the trauma. What really happened?
I originally came to Vietnam to learn Vietnamese. Now I am looking for something more. Like what most of the program people say, “We are all looking for something here, but we don’t know what. And even if we did know what it is, and even if we do find it, we probably won’t be able to describe it.”
When I first came to Vietnam, it was simply a new amazing country that I would have fun times in. Now, as I try to understand what Vietnam is really all about, and what it really means to me, all I see is a fog, a mist that clouds my perception. And through all this jumble of half-truths and passionate claims, I find that all I will find is not reality, but my own perception of reality. Like Jet Li’s character in Hero, I feel that my search will simply be a battle fought within my mind. I suppose that will be enough.
A typical bus ride.
A typical xe om rider
A typical restaurant
A typical meal in Hanoi.
September 8th, 2005 at 4:34 am
1. Viet History Books would not touch the subj of Reeducation camps where hundred of thousands of ARVN (Army of Republic of VN) were housed (to be polite) and “reeducated,” and where thousands had died. So it is to no surprise that the youngster nowadays knew nothing about it. The German had been in denial for so long when its came to the subject of Jews and its concentration camps.
2. Books written about the Vietnam War by American authors would not touch the subj b/c it is a bad chapter, it reminded American of how a country, the champion of freedom had betrayed, abandoned its ally in 1975.
3. Overseas Viet – the generation before our parents will never forget, and I will never forget how we had ended up in a foreign land. No, it is not that we do not want to touch the subject; the subject had not been forgotten e.g., Trần Trường incident in the Bolsa area a few years back.
Perhaps it has with how long time had gone by and the older folks have all settled in; most are now in their late 50 or older. Your parents and I left VN during our teenager year and assimilated into the American culture/ life thus, our knowledge of the war and its reeducation camps, and the rest are somewhat limited; perhaps this is one of the reasons why we had not touch the subject but left it to our parents (your grandparents generation).
Hope the explanation shed some light into your well informed and inquisitive mind. You are full of surprise, M
September 8th, 2005 at 5:18 am
http://www.xanga.com/mejuju
I’m really impressed with your level of insight and reflection as your share about your time in Vietnam so far. I don’t really know you, but I recognize a degree of self-awareness and inquisitiveness that is incredibly valuable in this time in your life. much props. (and for the record, just by the mere fact that you’re on EAP VN makes you much cooler by my standards, i mean, we could have been sippin’ sangria in Spain but we chose to kick up dirt and squat in Hanoi instead…if that doesn’t make VN Eap-ers “special”, i don’t know what does!
as for your question of what you’re looking for and what you’ll find in these next few months, I think it’s a fairly normal question to ask. There’s a lot to be experienced and accepted as we return to vietnam–a place which holds so much deeply rooted pain, nostalgia and memory for our parents/elders. In returning, you’re experiencing the realities of those lost/unspoken stories and histories. It’s incredible, isn’t it? And you’re right, those truths we seek are not tangible, but incredibly powerful nonetheless. I came to Vietnam with those very same questions, and I left having found many truths–all of which have both comforted and challenged me to this day. Don’t be surprised if you leave with many more questions, an unswervering love for vn, our people trong nuoc and at home, as well as a desire to return one day.
by the way, i think it’s totally awesome that you have so much support and love coming your way from your parents and family. definitely a blessing.
September 8th, 2005 at 6:07 am
As you carefully put it in this writing and in previous ones too, perception has an important place in daily human life. That’s why our society needs psychiatrists, psychologists, pharmacists (to cure headaches), dentists (smile and walk away from the discussions…)
I had a feeling you’d run into the sensitive subject of re-education camp. Almost everyone from the exiled Vietnamese community was, one way or another, affected by these camps. We do not forget. We wrote, we discussed, we listened, we argued, we demonstrated, we did a lot of things … But as you correctly stated, your generation (in or outside VN) has little clues. Why?
I’d propose a few reasons but I am afraid that I post them, I will warrant a visit from my right wing, ultra convervative, pro catholic, hard headed, one-track-mind brother-in-law.
Take it easy. Being smart is having the simple perception.
September 8th, 2005 at 6:20 am
By the way, my Kung-Fu teacher always reminded me: “Don’t follow their movements, just look into the opponent eyes. They will tell you his next moves”
Well I was sure that was a very good advice. He just did not realize that I took off my prescribed glasses when I went into a fighting contest. Thirty years ago, contact lenses were not available, let alone laser surgery.
Needless to say, the master and I ceased to see each other, after one semester.
September 8th, 2005 at 8:52 am
Hi Tan,
I spent the past two days reading all of August entries.
Young man, how do you feel about your blog entries being published in bao Phu Nu Gia Dinh Nguoi Viet? I find your experiences and reflections educational and captivating, and I’m sure many others will find them so.
The magazine is published bi-monthly, under the umbrella of ba’o Nguoi Viet. If you’re interested, I can forward your blog address to the Editor-in-Chief, Bui Bich-Ha, and if warranted, she will communicate with you directly. They may translate your selected entries into Vietnamese (since the magazine is in Vietnamese). Usually, after tranlsation, they have you (or your parents) review the version and make revisions.
Only if you wish.
Thank you for your stories.
cgiang
September 8th, 2005 at 10:53 am
Tan’s blog entries - indeed, “educational, captivating” and humorous at time.
CGiang’s comments sure dotted all the I, and crossed all the T.
I strongly support the idea of having Tan’s entries translated and published - it is very interesting to see VN under the eyes of a young Vietnamese-American man who has never set foot in his father’s land until now.
:)
September 8th, 2005 at 2:23 pm
Just dropping by to say HI!!!! be safe! Missing VN and you too of course! =)
September 8th, 2005 at 4:33 pm
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:47 pm
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very nice photos in this article i like it